Maintenance Morning Monday

Don’t forget that Monday morning is almost upon us. The maintenance group hope to be there from 9:30am onwards. So, if you can and would like to come along and help out, then please do. The more volunteers the better. Also, if you want some logs for your log burner, there are branches just waiting for you behind the rear of the clubhouse. Thank you.

Log Time – Come and Get It

If you would like some logs from the Club for your log burner then now is the time to come along and collect what you want. They are branch length so you might want to bring a saw with you to turn them into nice sized pieces to fit in the boot of your car. You’ll find them in a pile behind the clubhouse so please come along and help yourself.

Wood currently looks something like this
This is how it will look like after you do your stuff

Hip Hop

Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to need a hip replacement. The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week. The second patient sees his family doctor after waiting 3-weeks for a face-to-face appointment, then waits 8-weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray which isn’t reviewed for another week and finally has surgery scheduled for 18-months from then.

Why is the treatment different for each patient?

The first patient is a golden retriever and the second is a senior citizen.

Times Change

Back in the 1970’s this was the understanding of some words:-

  • ‘Memory’ was something associated with your own brain;
  • ‘An Application’ was for employment;
  • ‘A Programme’ was a TV show;
  • ‘A Keyboard’ was on a piano;
  • ‘A Web’ was a spider’s home;
  • ‘A Hard Drive’ was a long trip in a car;
  • ‘A Mouse Pad’ was where a mouse lived.

Give an Inch

David L: Sylvia, I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said “I want you to sell this to me.” So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually, he called my mobile and said, “Bring it back right now!”

Sylvia: So what did you say to him?

David L: I said, “£200.00 and it’s yours”.